think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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