She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
