You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
