i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
