the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
is that a dick in a sweater?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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