is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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