you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Text me some of your sweat
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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