we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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