I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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