so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
