where am i from again
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
