So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
