Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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