Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
