it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
