hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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