I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
