I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
