hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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