thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
