try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
