He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
