I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
