so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
