I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
