I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
did i just pee glitter
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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