This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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