I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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