Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
