wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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