my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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