My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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