I am puke
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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