At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
