I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
