i wish my penis had a tongue
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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