You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
