I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
