Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize