What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
