I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
