His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can you bring me the toilet please
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
