Are we in a gay sports bar?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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