K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
A bitchslap is in order.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
