Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
