She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
