Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
