i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
