just tell him i said nine months
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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