I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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