we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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