R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can Purell be used as lube?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
