There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
