my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
how do you play pong handcuffed?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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